This is hunger. This is drive. This is how you sell a lambchop to a sheep.
You know when you try so hard in life and then you have those moments like eff it! Yes, I know this is a blog about progression, but I did say it was a “sprawl” right? So, that means sometimes I might drag my feet or go kicking and screaming towards the LIGHT. The point I’m diving into here is that there may be truth to the adage nice guys finish last. It seems to be true of nice girls too. I remember when I went into social work as a profession. My dad was like, “You might get a few extra points in Heaven, but that’s it.” At the time I thought he sounded like an uncaring heathen, but I can’t say that he was wrong. I didn’t make very much money, and I worked myself to the wire. I did however make sure that every kid on my caseload who’d fallen through the cracks found a permanent home when I left. Sounds like an easy task but if only you knew.
Where this nice girl/guy dynamic plays out the strongest is in relationships. Women say they want a good guy, but then we get with them and find them boring. Men say they want a good girl, but they get one and take advantage. I know they say opposites attract, but we’ve got that all wrong. If the good, nice people would just get together perhaps one day they’d find peace and stability pretty darn sexy. That book “Why Men Love Bitches” may make some men cringe or want to protest, but it is also true. In every relationship I’ve seen where the girl didn’t really care too much about the man it was easy breezy, but let the chick fall in love and start being giving and stuff, that’s when the dude acted a pure fool eventually. Funny how your viewpoint changes when you were once looking at your lover’s beautiful eyes and now you’re smacked with another not so pretty part of their anatomy…
I get a warm fuzzy feeling from being a good girl but other times I feel tired of being honorable, nice, selfless because where does it get you in the end? You either become burnt out from all the outpouring you do to others, or you become resentful when you realize you aren’t getting anything in return. We can sit and say you’re supposed to do good without expectation of it being given back, but let’s be realistic a one-sided relationship in the long run just doesn’t work. So anyhow, I’ve decided to embark on an experiment to see how the other half lives. It looks like fun: get what you want, do what you want, say what you want. The ratchet girls (and guys) seem like they just march to the beat of their own drummer and whoever doesn’t like it, Oh Well! Talk to tha hand! (do people still say that) Tell somebody who cares.com!
If being nice is authentic it shouldn’t feel like a chore, but why does it? Like shackles of responsibility, when sometimes you do want to tell that person exactly how you feel no matter how hurtful the truth is, and walk off (old people and children are masters at this). I genuinely love helping people. I don’t want to slap babies or steal old ladies’ purses, but then I see people who I know for a fact do bad things alot and they get to have fun and live life on their own terms. Am I complaining, no, just noticing. If you can’t beat em join em right? At any rate this is just an experiment. I’m not stating ratchetness is the new norm BUT I can’t denounce it until I try it right. So like in science class when we did an experiment with a hypothesis, tests, and a conclusion, here’s my experiment.
Test subject: Me
So, here I go. Umm, how to start? I guess I’ll end my sentences with .com for starters. Secondly, I’ll make the lemon/duck face in all my pictures. Third, all week I’m just going to do what makes me happy regardless of what other people like or think. I will dress how I want to dress, go where I want to go, and if you ask me a question be prepared for my truth. Boom! I’ll report back and let you know what happens. Wheeee! Attached is a little video inspiration to get me amped. TEAM LIBERATION!
I had one of those off days yesterday where it seemed like nothing could go right! Arg. And then I found this precious little angel, LOL! Just a reminder to laugh at life, it’s not that freakin’ serious. Woooo Saaaa people, Woo Saa 🙂
My mom went to hear Edwene Gaines speak. Above is a past video found online, so you can see her in action. I’ve heard her before also, and she is amazing! She went from hole-in-her-shoes poverty to now being able to travel the world and live on 30 acres of land. She is also hilarious and brutually honest. Here is a snippet of the many things she had to teach:
“10 STEPS TO SUCCESSFUL ACHIEVEMENT”
1. In a notebook dedicated to your goal setting program, write down all of your desires no matter how large or small
2. Choose the 12 most important desires and write them down in order of importance. Be very specific.
3. Be open and receptive to change. Ask, “What must I change about myself in order to achieve my goals?”
4. Determine the date by which you want to achieve your goal.
5. Read your goals at least 3 times every morning and evening.
6. Imagine yourself achieving each goal.
7. Accept your success now. Act as if you had already achieved.
8. Don’t tell others. Keep your goals private, except for a select few who are supportive of your dream.
9. Cross off goals as they are achieved and add new ones.
10. Remember, God’s highest law is LOVE.
If you’ve been spinning your wheels wondering why your blessing hasn’t come, this checklist is a great way to help you focus and take stock of what you’ve really been doing to advance towards your goals. I think #3 is where many of us get stuck. We fantasize about the rewards but aren’t trying to do the work. Or, we do the work but engage in behaviors that undermine our efforts.
Ask yourself if you’re able to make changes. If you feel you have nothing about ourself to change, maybe that’s an area of potential change right there lol, self awareness. Also, if your list of things you think you must change before making your dreams come to life is too long, that’s also an imbalance. In the past I have fallen into the latter camp of over analyzing and trying to be a perfectionist, but like Nike we gotta “Just Do It!”
So, out of your 12 most important goals, what was your #1 one?