Hang Gliding: Take to The Skies!

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“If you could have any superpower in the world what would it be?” my friend asked. Now, the average person would’ve needed to ponder this, but while other little girls wanted to be ballerinas or teachers when they grew up, I wanted to be a superhero! My answer (since I had to pick only one power) was that I would love to fly. A few weeks later this same friend said to me casually in conversation, “Were you serious when you said you wanted to fly?” I answered, “Yes…why?” The friend responded, “Oh, no reason.” I should’ve smelled trouble.

Soon, the mystery of what lie ahead was finally revealed:  We were going HANG GLIDING! Oh my gosh, I was secretly scared to death. I imagined a large wind gust whisking me away, propelling me inches above treetops, ultimately dumping me in some foreign land. While I envisioned the cavernous mountaintops we were driving to, our GPS had something much less exotic in mind. We were led to a residential street lined with one-story homes and daisies and poppies in the yards. Were we going to be flying from the roofs of the houses? Had we been scammed?! We must have the wrong address? We learned we were at the correct place, the first stop was the instructor’s home to watch video about hang gliding. Sitting through the videos was like being told not to touch the fresh baked chocolate chip cookies when you were a kid; we just wanted to fly already. And fly we did! Well sort of… Below is a pictorial journey of my hang gliding adventure. Away we goooo!

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The field where our lesson took place. We started from the hilltop.

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Our instructor immediately knew we had no idea what we were getting into. Not sure what tipped him off…maybe the fact that I had on loafers. He was quick to explain, “You will get at least a few feet off the ground today.” A few feet? I was both relieved and disappointed at the same time. I borrowed my friend’s 5 finger shoes since I didn’t bring appropriate footwear. These were an equally awful option, however. The field was full of sharp burrs, which due to the shoe choice not only stabbed through the bottom of my feet, but also in between all 5 toes. Excellent.

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We had a quick demo in hang glider construction. Super easy!

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Even my hair was ready to take flight! 

We got a lesson in the engineering of it all by our brilliant and laid-back instructor. The cutest kid was in our group. Eventually he interrupted to ask, “So, are we flying today?” So funny. Here I am suited up, ready to roll!

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imageYeah, yeah pull back on this so you won’t crash and die, blah, blah. You just point me in the direction of Cancun sir!

imageChecking for wind…

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Go! One of the most important secrets to a successful glide is FORM. Look closely below at how gracefully I took to the skies, lol!

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Here are a couple of brief action shot videos.

I loved hang gliding. I felt FREE, WEIGHTLESS, yet SUPPORTED. When I got that first taste of freedom as the wind lifted me, I just wanted to be transported somewhere new like Alice in Wonderland or Dorothy to Oz. One of the most important lessons the instructor taught me was that when the wind came (which was good), I would tighten up when all I needed to do was to let go. Deep metaphor for life. Stay tuned for my book Zen and the Art of Hang Gliding, lol. Go try it, and let me know your experiences!

Final thoughts:

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Dig in! Stay Motivated!

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Lol this is funny, but if you’re at a point where you’re waking up every day saying, “Good God, it’s morning ugh!” Assess your life, take stock of where you would really like to be and ask if your current path is leading you there. Make an exit plan if not! The exit doesn’t necessarily mean leaving (especially if it’s a marriage or commitment that should be honored, if possible), but it could mean figuring out what is not working and discarding that behavior or mindset in favor of something more beneficial. Most importantly, in the meantime CHOOSE to be happy. When you make the decision to wake up and say “Good morning, God!” instead, watch how miracles begin to unfold!

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Becoming Your Husband’s Mistress!

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Becoming Your Husband’s Mistress

500x500_3274330_fileI am someone who asks a lot of questions, but I also seek the answers. This inevitably leads to more questions, but such is life. I found this lady on one of my quests to be prepared to be the best mate I could be for my chosen partner. Her book called “Becoming Your Husband’s Mistress” takes a much different take on the topic then what I was expecting. Click the link to listen in to her mini seminar about the topic.

A lot of ladies in the women’s group I founded heard this interview. I noticed that one woman (unmarried) who listened in had posted and promoted it on her Facebook page; however, it was mysteriously removed a few days later. I didn’t say anything, but when I saw her again the topic came up.

She said that she was mad for days because of the content of the interview. She said women should put their children before their husbands because children are the future. She also said that the interpretation of Biblical verses presented is misogynistic and that women were judges and in other high positions in Biblical days. I kind of feel like this is the author’s point though. In between child rearing, career building, and shifting gender roles the mistress will slide right in and do what you’re unwilling (or unable to do) because you’ve spread yourself too thin or put other priorities before your role as a wife. Yes, men have roles too, and should never betray their marriage, but this was a class for women. She wasn’t teaching women how to beat the mistress or view her as some external competition, she was teaching us how to internalize the positive traits the mistress is perceived to embody (adventurous, confident, supportive, etc.) and make her a non factor. It’s actually empowering in my opinion. The other feedback that came in was overwhelmingly in support of the “mistress class.” The majority of the women (who were married) loved what they heard and while there were points that they may not have agreed with, they accepted the overall message.

The roles of women and men especially in today’s modern society is such a divisive topic! I’d love to hear feedback about what people think. Please click the link above to take a listen and message me.

My Descent Into Ratchetness (part 2)…NICE GUYS FINISH LAST!

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And the Dr. Jekyll/Mrs. Hyde experimentation continues…MwaHaaHaaHaaHaa!fredric march dr jekyll and mr hyde 10

In my last post I was bemoaning about how NICE GUYS (and girls) FINISH LAST! I was just at a point where I was over it. Generosity just seemed like such a losing situation in our narcissistic society. Callous, unfeeling, selfish people appear to get to do and say what they want with no consequence except pure delicious indulgence! While moral, nice, sensitive people on the other hand become reduced to the shattered shards left in their wake. So, I decided to experiment on what being ratchet (ratchet=coarse, diva, arrogant) was like.

I talked to my friend Dawn who is in no way ratchet, but she embodies some qualities that some may attribute to a *ahem* “strong” woman. A strong man is considered powerful and assertive, but a woman with the same traits gets called a b—-. Double standard. As women we are supposed to be submissive and soft. My friend is dominant and hard–on the outside. On the inside she possesses a beautiful soul. She’s a gorgeous girl, but has had to be both the mother and father for her children. She has endured so much hardship but still came out on top with a master’s degree, healthy children and a smile on her face. She did this on her own, so she doesn’t take to not being in charge so easily. This poses a problem in relationships where the conventional thinking is that men should lead. However, MEN LOVE HER!

We are so opposite I remember when I first saw her, she was outspoken, gregarious, bold; I didn’t like her at all. Through our program, we were forced to get to know one another, and now I’m so glad we met. Opposites attract. I think perhaps as human beings we are attracted to opposites not so much because we want to torture ourselves, but because deep down our soul seeks expansion. We seek contrast (as Abraham-Hicks would say), which basically means things that help us to grow versus remain stagnant. There is that feeling of comfort of being with someone exactly like you, but also that excitement from being exposed to differences. Case in point, most of my female friends are wild women. They will dance on tables, approach men, tell you exactly how they feel and they are my alter egos! Since we know opposites attract, the kinder, gentler souls probably seek out and are sought out by rougher personalities. If this association leads to painful interactions, we can’t take this limited experience and generalize it to all of society. There are other nice people, we just don’t care to associate with one another lol.

Dawn dropped some pearls of wisdom on me that I had to share; my teachers come in many forms. She said there’s no need to be ratchet, but you do have to know the point at which you draw a line, and if someone crosses it, speak your truth and act up if need be. Dawn said CONFIDENCE is what attracts romantic partners. You need to step out of the house knowing that you are cute, because what you think you radiate. In her case, times where she felt insecure she didn’t attract anyone, and when she brought that insecurity into relationships everything went south because the man was like, “Oh I got this” and became arrogant.

“What you think you radiate.” That’s the money quote right there. So, yes, niceness is absolutely a virtue, but here are the caveats: If you do nice things out of fear (fear of rejection, retaliation, loss) that automatically undermines the act. If you do nice things out of responsibility and they feel like a burden, that also takes away from the act. If you’re a nice person but you buy into the theory that nice guys/gals finish last, you will attract that reality to yourself. If you are so afraid to be yourself that you put on a persona of niceness so people will like you, the disconnect from your core being and this mask you wear will show up as lack of confidence, and yes people may dislike and trample all over that.

One of the most enlightening quotes I’ve heard recently is “Love cannot exist in the presence of fear.” So, for example, are you dating someone you say you love but secretly you fear being hurt, fear being cheated on, fear being yourself? This directly applies to niceness because it is stating a fundamental truth that nothing pure and positive can flourish in the presence of fear. What you focus on just grows, and whatever you claim to feel or whoever you claim to be, will be overshadowed by the anxiety you exude. Fear becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. So, in relationships, if you are a good girl but underneath you fear losing your man, guess what, one day you’ll wake up saying, “I can’t believe he left me after ALL I did for him!” Let’s flip it. If you’re a nice guy, but you hold back on acting on your impulses for fear of rejection, yes, you’ve got it, you’ll be the one complaining, “Nice guys finish last!” P.S. Women really do want nice guys, I promise, we just don’t want them to be nice in the bedroom 😉 Virtues exist in the presence of only one vibration: LOVE. If you do, say, and think nice things out of love, life will reward you in kind. You just have to have that core self love enough to value and appreciate someone like yourself when they show up.

So be NICE. Treat people well. However, start with SELF. Say and do things for yourself that you’d do for others and the world will respond. You cannot be mistreated when you actively engage in a solid foundation of treating yourself well daily. It is not “nice” to hold in everything that you think, want, and feel. So, don’t let your significant other run your life from fear of abandonment; if you do that you’ve already abandoned yourself. Don’t get resentful of those selfish souls who take your kindness for weakness, focus on those who appreciate you and you’ll find yourself surrounded by more of those types. Don’t just sit back and watch your friends dance on tables, go dance in the rain. Then you’ll get the best of both worlds: a good heart and a spicy personality to boot! Try it!

N=Never

I=Internalizing

C=Core

E=Expression

So, us nice guys and girls may finish last because we’ve politely let everyone else go before us. BUT when we arrive –and we do– we are well rested, we’ve been able to enjoy the journey, and we’re a step ahead of the game because we’ve learned from the blunders the rest made who went before. That is all.

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My Descent Into Ratchetness…

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You know when you try so hard in life and then you have those moments like eff it! Yes, I know this is a blog about progression, but I did say it was a “sprawl” right? So, that means sometimes I might drag my feet or go kicking and screaming towards the LIGHT. The point I’m diving into here is that there may be truth to the adage nice guys finish last. It seems to be true of nice girls too. I remember when I went into social work as a profession. My dad was like, “You might get a few extra points in Heaven, but that’s it.” At the time I thought he sounded like an uncaring heathen, but I can’t say that he was wrong. I didn’t make very much money, and I worked myself to the wire. I did however make sure that every kid on my caseload who’d fallen through the cracks found a permanent home when I left. Sounds like an easy task but if only you knew.

Where this nice girl/guy dynamic plays out the strongest is in relationships. Women say they want a good guy, but then we get with them and find them boring. Men say they want a good girl, but they get one and take advantage. I know they say opposites attract, but we’ve got that all wrong. If the good, nice people would just get together perhaps one day they’d find peace and stability pretty darn sexy. That book “Why Men Love Bitches” may make some men cringe or want to protest, but it is also true. In every relationship I’ve seen where the girl didn’t really care too much about the man it was easy breezy, but let the chick fall in love and start being giving and stuff, that’s when the dude acted a pure fool eventually. Funny how your viewpoint changes when you were once looking at your lover’s beautiful eyes and now you’re smacked with another not so pretty part of their anatomy…

I get a warm fuzzy feeling from being a good girl but other times I feel tired of being honorable, nice, selfless because where does it get you in the end? You either become burnt out from all the outpouring you do to others, or you become resentful when you realize you aren’t getting anything in return. We can sit and say you’re supposed to do good without expectation of it being given back, but let’s be realistic a one-sided relationship in the long run just doesn’t work. So anyhow, I’ve decided to embark on an experiment to see how the other half lives. It looks like fun: get what you want, do what you want, say what you want. The ratchet girls (and guys) seem like they just march to the beat of their own drummer and whoever doesn’t like it, Oh Well! Talk to tha hand! (do people still say that) Tell somebody who cares.com!

If being nice is authentic it shouldn’t feel like a chore, but why does it? Like shackles of responsibility, when sometimes you do want to tell that person exactly how you feel no matter how hurtful the truth is, and walk off (old people and children are masters at this). I genuinely love helping people. I don’t want to slap babies or steal old ladies’ purses, but then I see people who I know for a fact do bad things alot and they get to have fun and live life on their own terms. Am I complaining, no, just noticing. If you can’t beat em join em right? At any rate this is just an experiment. I’m not stating ratchetness is the new norm BUT I can’t denounce it until I try it right. So like in science class when we did an experiment with a hypothesis, tests, and a conclusion, here’s my experiment.

Hypothesis: Ratchetness=Freedom

Test subject: Me

Conclusion: TBD

So, here I go. Umm, how to start? I guess I’ll end my sentences with .com for starters. Secondly, I’ll make the lemon/duck face in all my pictures. Third, all week I’m just going to do what makes me happy regardless of what other people like or think. I will dress how I want to dress, go where I want to go, and if you ask me a question be prepared for my truth. Boom! I’ll report back and let you know what happens. Wheeee! Attached is a little video inspiration to get me amped. TEAM LIBERATION!